"The Great Gay Debate"

There are now three things you should not discuss that leads to divisive arguments: Politics, religion, and homosexuality. This firestorm has been on the horizon for quite some time as gay and lesbian groups have pushed, and in many cases, forced their agenda down the throats of the American people, and they have been successful! The influence of the one eyed monster, the television, has cleverly played a major role in reprogramming the minds of many people by attaching such words as hatred, judgmental, and the ever so popular homophobe to any contrary opinion; consequently, there has been a major shift in thought concerning this lifestyle. The N.B.A. joined this movement by publicly announcing the hefty fines levied against superstars Kobe Bryant and Jokhim Noah for using the word “fag” during a game. They went the extra mile by airing a commercial during the playoffs repudiating “gay slurs” and adding its stamp of approval on the gay agenda. Last week New York approved same sex marriages, even though the majority of the country opposes the legislation, it was another victory for the G.L.B.T. community and more fodder for heated debates. My perspective is simple, I am against the lifestyle because I believe in the bible and its stance on the subject; however, I do understand that in this day and age the integrity of my position has been severely compromised, but overall, this is simply a battle of ideas. Both pro-gay and anti-gay groups believe their position is superior and both are intolerant of each other, although they would argue the truth of that statement, it shows in the dialogue between the two. I have had this conversation with my oldest child and I explained to her what we believed concerning the gay lifestyle, but I also told her that there are people who believe we are wrong. Her response, “Who is right?” My response, “I believe we are, but we will all find out who is right and wrong at the end of time. Until then, hold firm to your position.”

Brandon J.

"Happy Father's Day Mom?"

On the heels of father's day a report surfaced that Hallmark offered a happy father's day card specifically designed for African-American single mothers. While I could write a novel with my opinions on this subject, I will spare you and share just a few. Let me state the obvious. African-Americans are not the only people who have single mother's raising children, but if you listen to the media and beauty shop talk, you would believe that black men do absolutely nothing for their children. From my perspective, this has less to do with celebrating single mothers and more to do with the further demeaning of black men in our country. While I will admit “some” have played a role in the negative public perceptions, it is ridiculous to reduce black men’s parental involvement based on the actions of some and create a bogus father’s day card. What if Hallmark presented a mother’s day card with a new born baby on the front with the caption, “Happy Mother’s day mom, Thanks for not aborting me?” The media would be in an uproar and women’s groups would demand its immediate removal because of the negative message being sent on that special day. Yet, there is no mention of this negative message directed at the black family as a whole or the undermining of the black male. Furthermore, just because a woman is a single mother does not mean paternal involvement has ceased and to assume that it has just because two parties are not under the same roof is presumptuous. The truth is this card was uncalled for and professionally tacky.

Brandon J.

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-hallmark-made-cards-for-black-single-moms-on-fathers-day/

"Happy Father's Day"

How strong you are Dad! When I was little, you put me on your shoulders so I could feel as tall as you. When the top to the pickle or jelly jar was stuck, I always knew you could get it off even if you had to hit the bottom of the jar a few times. Dad your endurance is to be envied. I always wondered how you could work a twelve-hour shift, come home and fire up the barbeque pit, and cut the grass at the same time. You would not sit down until it was finished, but I remember you saying, “Son always take care of business, this is business.” Dad you provided like no other. I remember those long hours you worked to ensure that we had what we needed and some of what we wanted. You went without sometimes because you loved me and it was important to you that your children’s needs were not neglected. Daddy, thank you for caring. I remember when you would shower and change clothes at work, grab something to eat on the run, and go directly to my sporting events. Rain, sleet, or snow I could look into the crowd and find you cheering because you were always there!
These are memories I have about my wonderful Father and I am sure many of you reading this share some of the same sentiments. So here is a great big HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the father’s out there; do not forget that you are indispensible! Your presence is enormous to your children because they need your masculine touch to be a complete functional adult. Dads, remember you are Superman to your children and they believe you can do anything. Fatherhood is difficult because the expectations are enormous, the criticism is constant, and the pressure to take care of the family is never ending; however, the rewards are priceless! Keep pushing Fathers and keep up the good work. You are Appreciated!

Brandon J.

"Open Relationships"

I know many people enjoy “The Michael Baisden Show” as I do and enjoy the thought provoking subjects he examines. The hottest topic last week was open relationships and how some people are considering it an “alternative” to traditional relationships. Basically, a married or monogamous couple mutually agrees to experiment emotionally and sexually with others outside of their relationship, but do not consider themselves unfaithful because their partner does not object. A couple called into the show whose marriage was open, and the wife was in another city with her boyfriend! Call me old fashioned, narrow minded, and intolerant; I will gladly take them all, but this practice in incomprehensible. One explanation given for this lifestyle was the accelerated divorce rate and the loss of faith in monogamy, which I agree is disheartening, but I fail to understand how opening the floodgates of indulgence will enhance or rescue a relationship. From my perspective, the swapping of partners is a defilement of the relationship and is one of the lowest forms of human behavior, but this is a free country and people are allowed to be as base as they choose. However, I can partially understand how one might consider this alternative. Relationship disappointment and heartbreak often does strange things to the mind causing temporary insanity and acting outside of one’s self, but participating in a limitless relationship may lead to more dysfunction.

Brandon J.

"Child Support or Father Fleecing"

The word child support strikes a variety of emotions through people depending on their experience with this controversial subject. For some it induces deeply rooted bitterness and resentment because of neglect and limited resources available to their children; however, for others it stirs a whirlwind of emotional guilt and regret for failing their children. Regardless of where your are positioned on the spectrum, one thing is apparent to me; the child support system needs a major overhaul. The media's coverage of child support conveniently focuses on absenteeism and delinquency, which are travesties, but there is another side of this subject. Did you know child support papers can be filed and delivered to a person without a DNA test? Listen to this story. After twelve years of lying to her boyfriend, a young woman decides to pursue child support on the man she "knows" is the father of her child and the state of Texas attorney General's office is ecstatic to assist her efforts. The attorney general used its resources to obtain this mans social security number, drivers license number, home phone number, home address, place of employment, and annual income which was all made available to this young woman even though paternity was not established. One grand day the county constable served this man with child support papers detailing drop off and pick up times, summer schedule, $707.00 monthly payments, and $20,000 in back child support; all without proof a paternity. The man contested this ruling and requested a DNA test. The state took pictures of him and even required his fingerprints to be placed on file as if he committed a horrible crime; consequently, the test proved the child belonged to another man. This is not a fictional story, this happened to me. While I will agree some have abandoned their post in caring for their children, I must also acknowledge that there a many others who are being devoured by child support fraud and a overly aggressive child support system.

Brandon J.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Women Pt. 2

A man's nature is to provide, protect, and take care of his woman. When a man truly loves a woman he takes great pride in his ability to be her shield and this is the reason he will offer all his strength and resources to ensure her security. Deep inside most men this desire exists, but today's anti-male society seemingly scoffs at this idea as if it sets women back 60 years. This is tragic because now some men have bought into the independent woman philosophy. Cultural norms have long dictated that men should pay for dinner when dating a woman, but why should he when she boast of her financial prowess and independency? Men used to be expected to open doors for women and pull out a woman's chair at the diner table, but when he hears Neo sing "There is something oh so sexy about the kind of woman that don't even need my help. She say she got, she got it, no doubt there's something about her." Sounds good in the song, but I would argue that this attitude can cause power struggles in a relationship that would otherwise prosper. To the ladies I will say this, you are beautiful and talented in a multitude of areas and it is appreciated. We see you so you don't have to flaunt it. We hear you so you don't have to say it so loud. You don't have anything to prove. Just be YOU!

Brandon J.

"I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Women" Pt. 1

There are songs written about them, radio shows discuss them, the grocery store magazine racks have cover pages about them, and the big screen has movies about them; the ever so intriguing INDEPENDENT woman. Since I am a male and this is Male Perspectives you are reading (which I greatly appreciate) I will give you “my” perspective. It is interesting to hear women answer this question, “So tell me about yourself,” because somewhere in her description the phrase, “I am a strong independent woman” will surface. My life experiences have shown that when a person, male or female, present themselves in this fashion, they are usually attempting to appear stronger than they really are to cover up the weaknesses in their personality. Now this is obviously not always the case, but generally speaking this holds true. However, from my perspective, to hear a woman tell me how she pays her own bills, owns her own possessions, how strong she is, and how she does not “need” a man to do for her is not impressive. Every single autonomous adult should pay their own bills and provide their essential necessities, it is called personal responsibility, but the “I do not need a man” attitude is played out! Ladies, the reality is, you can be too strong for your own good! Personally, if a woman emphatically states how she does not really need me because she believes she is superwoman then I would be less inclined to give her any real attention and I am confident most men would agree. After all, who wants to be with someone that can do with or without them? Is that really attractive or inviting? Maybe for some, but the majority of mentally stable people I know want to be wanted.

Brandon J.